


Nicki And Judy Get Stoned

by rabbitgirl



Series: Zootopia 2: But Actually, Fuck Cops [1]
Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Depression, Drugs, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Light Romance, Marijuana, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 04:27:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13709805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabbitgirl/pseuds/rabbitgirl
Summary: It's been eight days since Judy Hopps quit her job - for the second and final time. She hasn't been dealing with it well. Luckily, a certain fox knows just the thing to cheer her up.Weeeeeeeeeeed.Takes place a couple years after the movie. Nick(i) is trans. She and Judy aren't together (yet). Little hurt, lotta comfort. Rated Mature for drugs and cuss words.





	Nicki And Judy Get Stoned

Judy Hopps wasn't feeling great.

She hadn't felt great since she'd quit the force, honestly.

That was eight restless, stressful nights of nightmare-filled sleep ago. Eight lackluster, empty mornings, spent agonizing over what-ifs. Eight days of sitting in her apartment, alternating between staring at the ceiling and the floor as she waited for the next part of her life to start. Eight afternoons spent lying in bed, intermittently trading text messages with her parents, her favorite fox in the world, and the few of her co-workers - _former_ co-workers - that wanted to talk to her. And then it was time to go back to sleep. And wake up, and drink some shitty coffee, and try to figure out what she was going to do, now that "saving the world" was no longer an option.

So it's fair to say that she was in a bad mood even _before_ Nicki Wilde kicked her door open.

"Hey, Judy! Look what I picked u-"

Nicki barely had time to duck out of the way of the pillow aimed squarely at her head. She landed with a _thunk_ in the hallway, wincing as she yelped, _"Holy_ \- "

"I said _no, Nicki!"_ Judy yelled at her.

Nicki got to her feet, rubbing at her wounded bottom. "Well I already _bought_ the stuff," she grumbled, "so you might as well let me in."

In retrospect, giving her a key was probably a bad idea.

Judy sighed, but she waved her in anyways. Honestly, she was glad for the company. She'd thought that being alone would give her time to reflect and move on, but really, it had just made her lonelier. Even if she was frustrated by _why_ her partner - _ex-_ partner, ex-partner - had dropped in, she was still glad to see her.

"But I'm _not_ changing my mind about this," Judy growled. She sat back in her seat and took the angriest sip of her coffee possible. "You can do whatever, but leave me out of it."

Nicki swept the door closed behind her as she stepped in. While the apartment was certainly _cozy,_ she and Judy were well past the point that the small size felt awkward. If anything, it felt familiar - in a way her own apartment had yet to. She slid her knapsack onto the couch, before taking a seat alongside it. "Aww, c'mon, Judy," she whined. "It's gonna be so much _fun - "_

"I'm not smoking _weed_ with you!"

Nicki rolled her eyes. "Come on, Carrots. It's just _weed."_

Judy grimaced. "It's still _illegal."_

"We _both_ know that illegal doesn't necessarily mean _wrong."_

"But drugs are - "

_"Judyyyyyy."_

"We're _civilians_ now, Nicki! I mean, we get caught with that stuff - we're in real trouble!"

"We aren't going to get _caught._ 'Sides," Nicki grinned, "I already met my dealer. Scary part's over. Speaking of which," she said, reaching into her bag - "

_"Nicki!"_

_"Ta da!"_

Judy knew what weed looked like, of course. She knew what it smelled like, she knew what it _did._ That was kind of necessary cop-knowledge-stuff. She'd seized plenty of the stuff too, even if she'd never been part of Narcotics. Still, there was something about seeing the stuff in her apartment that was more than a little surreal. And horrifying. "Put that _away!"_

"No one's going to see! Look - " Nicki walked over and gingerly placed the bag on the kitchen table. "Perfectly harmless. _Trust me."_

Judy stared at the bag. And then back at Nicki's grinning mug. And then back to the bag. And then back at Nicki.

"It's just not... _me,"_ she muttered, the fight slowly dying out of her voice. Nicki's ears flattened out. "You know, I'm not - I know the law's _dumb,_ I know it's no big deal, it's just... that's not who I'm supposed to _be."_

Judy found herself staring at the remains of her breakfast. Toast and microwaved coffee. Hardly a meal for a one of the most promising members of Zootopia's rank and file. No, _Officer_ Judy Hopps needed a full, nutritious breakfast of fruits and vegetables to prepare her for a day of facing off against the criminal element bent on undermining her beautiful city.

But it was a perfectly subpar meal for Judy Hopps, jobless waste of space.

She cringed as Nicki murmured, "You aren't a cop anymore, Judy - " but she relaxed when the fox placed a paw on her arm. "You don't have to be this noble, upstanding, _paragon_ of justice. I know it's hard, but one the _upsides_ of that is, well. Not having to worry about drug tests."

Judy choked out a laugh. She hadn't realized that her vision was starting to blur until she looked up and saw how Nicki was looking at her. "Yeah, I guess there is that."

The fox wilted at the tremble in Judy's voice. Nicki had left the force three months beforehand, and she knew exactly what the rabbit was going through. Having the rug pulled out from under you like that isn't easy - even if she'd had a lifetime of letdowns preparing her for it. She slipped into the other seat. "It's okay, it's okay," she said. "Let it out - "

"I'm _fine,"_ Judy coughed. Her breathing settled, and her posture straightened slightly. "I'm okay. Believe me, I've done more than enough _letting it out."_

"Alright." Nicki watched as Judy settled back into the disinterested neutrality of the deeply depressed. She drummed her fingers on the table, and before the silence could stretch out any longer, said, "So - "

Judy sighed. "Yeah," she said, eyes on the baggie. _"That."_ She looked back at Nicki, eyebrows cocked. "You _really_ want to smoke with me? I mean, you've teased me about it before, but..."

"I... I think you'd like it." Nicki shrugged - "I mean, not just it would _be fun,_ but it might _help_ you right now. I know it's been helping me a lot since I left. If nothing else, it should help you get your mind off of, uh, _stuff_ for a bit."

Judy bit her lip. Being distracted from the whole 'entire life's purpose crumbling into oblivion' thing sounded really nice. And she had to confess, she was curious about the whole thing. People had always known better than to offer straight-laced, no-nonsense, abstinence-only Judy Hopps anything illicit. No first-cigarette-bummed-from-an-older-cousin, no first-sip-of-wine-snuck-from-an-aunt; even her siblings that smoked made sure to be _extra_ careful around her. (Especially after she ratted out her Uncle Walt for smoking a joint at the precocious age of _eight.)_ Nicki was the only exception - she'd been needling Judy to give it a shot since _well_ before either of them had left the force.

And the fox was nothing if not persuasive.

"Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfine. _But only a little bit,"_ Judy added, cutting off Nicki's exuberant cheer.

"Of course, of course!" Nicki ran to get her bag and slowly started emptying it onto the table: a lighter, rolling papers, some snacks, a grinder, her wallet. "You should play it safe your first time, definitely."

"Mmm." She poked around at the clutter on her table. "So... what is this? What strain, or...?"

"Not sure. It's an indica, but beyond that... eh. It's just whatever my guy has."

"And... how long have you had a _guy?"_

Nicki pauses. "Um... since high school?" Judy glared at her. "Oh, come _on,_ you learned I smoked while I was still in the _academy."_

"I didn't know you had a _guy,"_ she grumbled. "I thought it was like, you know, if you're at a party, and it's available..."

"I mean, it's not like I was getting stoned on work nights," Nicki said. "I cut back because, you know, new leaf and all that. Gotta be an upstanding member of the community. For as long as _that_ lasted."

 _Two years, three-hundred-twenty-five days,_ Judy's mind provided unbidden. She'd looked it up last night ago. Less than three years from meter maid duty to handing her badge in for the second (and final) time. Her jaw clenched. She was _twenty-seven._ She was supposed to have been there for _decades._ She'd fought so hard and done so well and _earned_ so much, she'd finally had her dream in reach - and it turned to ash in her mouth. How was that fair? Granted, _she'd left_ , but she hadn't really had a choice - not after seeing what the city had done about -

"Judy? Hey, Jude?"

Judy blinked her way back into consciousness to find Nicki staring at her. "You okay?"

"Yeah - yeah," she said. She shook her head. "What - how are we doing this?"

The fox shrugged. "Um, if you're ready now, I can roll us a couple joints. That's a _doobie_ for you country folk - "

"Literally no one calls it that," Judy deadpanned. "Not even in Bunnyburrow."

"I guess that's my age showing, then. So, you want to go now, or...?"

Judy nodded, and watched as Nicki set to work preparing... things. "You look nice today," she murmured. A touch of mascara and a slightly more gender-ambiguous top (compared to her usual gaudy dress shirt and tie) did wonders for the fox.

She looked up, momentarily taken aback by the statement - and broke into a wide smile. "Aww, _shucks,_ Carrots. You're gonna make me blush."

"You _do."_ Judy fussed with the hem of her tank top. Since Nicki had come out to her (six - no, five months back, now), Judy had grown accustomed to seeing her, well. _Pretty._ Not super often, maybe, and the image of Nick Wilde In Dress Blues still held a lot of sway in her mind - but there was no denying that she seemed much more at ease like _this_ than she ever had in a uniform. Something in the way she moved, maybe. A little more fluidity, a little more... grace? "Have you been girl mode full-time? Since - "

"Since I left, yeah." Nicki's smile grew just a tad bit tighter. "No reason _not_ to now, you know? Not like I have a lot left to lose."

Judy didn't respond. The brass hadn't reacted kindly to Nicki's coming out. She'd never been the most _popular_ officer, despite her talent for the work; old prejudices die very hard, and _very_ slowly. Combine that with a penchant for siding with the perp a little too often and a reputation for bending the rules every now and then, and she had earned herself more than a few of enemies. _Especially_ higher up the chain. Throw the whole _trans_ thing on top, and it's easy to see why they forced her out. (Not that they'd admit it. On the record, Nick had _resigned,_ but she hadn't had a lot of choice in the matter.)

Trying to fit Nicki into Judy's already scarce free time after that proved more or less impossible. They'd kept in touch, of course, and managed to steal away a couple of nights on the weekends to catch up - but without their time on patrol together, there was no denying that they'd drifted apart. It had been _far_ too long since Judy had seen her slouching around the apartment. "I missed you," she whispered.

Nicki's ears twitched. "I missed you too," she whispered. Her face brightened up as she continued, "But, _hey._ I'll be seeing you a lot more often from now on, right? Least, until you get sick of me. How's that for silver linings?"

Judy smiled. "Pretty good, honestly." Knowing that she had Nicki's company to look forward to helped, even if just a bit. Her nose twitched as she suddenly latched onto the scent of the little bundle of herbs - the rank scent of the weed had been apparent since Nicki had walked in, but there was something else underneath it. "Is... that, um, straight?"

"Not completely. Nothing else _illegal,"_ Nicki rushed to add, "just some garden herbs that make it smell and taste a little bit better."

"They make it _taste_ better?"

"Well, _yeah._ Smoke has a taste to it, you know?"

"Suuuure." Judy gave the air another sniff, trying to suss out what was mixed in. "Smells like... peppermint and - lavender?"

Nicki gave her a sleazy grin. "I do _love_ lavender."

Judy shook her head. _Dork._ She watched in silence as Nicki finished her work, listening to hustle and bustle of the city in motion. She already missed it. She could go outside anytime she wanted, sure - though she hadn't really _done_ that for a few days - but it wasn't the same. She wasn't sure what it was. The more cynical part of her mind chided her for missing all that _power,_ but... it was more than that. She hoped.

"Bam." And just like that, there were two joints on her dining table. Her parents would've been _scandalized._ Nicki eyed her, nervously. "You ready? I - I mean - we don't _have_ to do this. I know I'm being overenthusiastic, but I don't want to push you into - "

 _"Nicki._ I'm fine." Judy took a deep breath. Since agreeing to this whole _thing,_ the restless anxiety in the pit of her stomach had begun to transmute itself into a no-less queasy mixture of anticipation and excitement. Maybe this _would_ be fun. Still - "You _sure_ we aren't going to get caught?"

The fox snorted. "Judy, your whole building _reeks_ of weed. Look, I'll go first. I need to show you how to inhale, anyways."

"Don't you just _breathe?"_

Nicki chuckled. "You'd be surprised. Okay, look - " With the practiced dexterity of a lifelong smoker, she scooped a joint into her paws and readied a lighter. "You gotta hold it like this, and do a short little _hhh - "_ inhale - "to get it to light. Then inhale into your _lungs,_ not your throat or your mouth, hold for a few seconds, and exhale. Got it? Like this - "

And before Judy knew it, Nicki had flicked the lighter, breathed in, breathed out, and there was smoke in the air.

"See? So easy a rabbit could do it," she grinned. She held out the still-smoking joint. "You wanna give it a shot?"

Judy swallowed. No going back now. "Ah, what the heck. Let's do it." With a smile, she quipped, "Try anything, right?"

* * *

Judy did not like smoking, she'd decided.

"Easy, Carrots, _easy._ Here - " Nicki pressed something into her hands, and without thinking, she downed it. _Water. Sweet water._ "Jeez, you went all-in, huh?"

With a final, hacking cough, she squinted at the fox through watery eyes. "Cheese and _crackers,_ Nicki, how do you _do_ that?"

"Well, it's not _supposed_ to go like that," Nicki deadpanned. "You kind of screwed it up."

"Aww, _thanks,"_ she wheezed.

"Did you at least _get_ any of it? I mean, that's a _lot_ of smoke - "

"Oh, I _got_ it." Judy patted at her chest gingerly. "Feels like my lungs are on _fire."_

"Well, that's good, at least," Nicki breezed. She glanced at her phone. "Alright. Fifteen minutes, and we'll see where you're at."

 _"Great."_ As soon as she could stand without feeling like she was about to die, Judy got up and filled herself another glass of water, opening the window as she went. Whether or not this ended up being a good idea, she wasn't fond of the idea of her room being permanently befouled by weed smoke. "So, is _this_ what you've spent the last few months doing? Ruining your lungs?"

"More or less." Nicki flinched at Judy's glare. "I mean, you know, I've been pursuing several business opportunities - "

"I'm sure."

"Real exciting stuff, Carrots. Just you wait. But," she mumbled, "yeah, it's been a lot of bumming around the apartment and getting stoned."

Judy watched her friend closely. When she'd first showed up, Judy had been heartened by how well Nicki was taking things - she was upbeat, and happy, and joking, and, well, being herself in all the ways that delighted and infuriated Judy. But it was clear from the way her tail twitched that while she'd made progress in the last three months, she was still hurting. She might've been putting up a good front, but nothing got past Judy. Not when it came to the fox. "So..." she drawled. "When does time slow down?"

Nicki snorted. "You didn't smoke _that_ much. You'll probably just get a light buzz. Honestly, you won't really _get_ it until it hits. You'll see. In the mean time, though - " Nicki pulled herself out of her slouch and glanced around the apartment. Not that there was much to look at - an unmade bed, the second- or third-hand couch, a little TV set, a dozen or so empty take-out boxes... and that was about it. "We might as well find something to _do._ How're you spending _your_ days?"

"Uh." Judy glanced at the bed. "Laying in bed and watching bad holiday movies?"

_"Perfect."_

* * *

Judy was starting to feel something.

She wasn't sure _what_ she was starting to feel. Whether it was the drug, the, uh, the thing that she smoked, the _weed,_ or, uh, if it was like - a warm, kind of fuzzy, uh - like, like _lines,_ coming from places? and going into other lines??

What was she thinking about, again?

Oh, right. She was feeling something. Something fuzzy. Something that was maybe an illegal weed drug, and something that was maybe, uh -

"You still with me, Carrots?"

_Nicki._

Holy heck _that's_ what it was. No wonder it was so fuzzy and warm and good.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm." Judy wriggled further under the blanket. It was so _wild_. Like, how the blanket was made of all those little, strings. Like lines. And you could feel them? Like not really, but if you ran your hand along it _sooooooooo_ _slowly,_ you could like, feel how it was made, and how it worked, and stuff. "Mmmm."

"Oh my god you are _high, Judith Hopps."_

"Hehe." Judy looked away from whatever she was looking at. Whatever it was. Nicki was better to look at, when she was, talking. Talking was so _cool._ Like had she ever really thought about it? She guessed she just took it for granted, but like, the idea that there were all these words, and things, and _ideas_ and structures and stuff that animalkind had made, and that they could use them? to communicate, and understand, like, roads of thought, connecting them, and the words were little buses of knowledge or whatever. That was so _cool._ How wasn't everyone freaking out about this?

What was she thinking about, again?

Oh, right. Nicki. Her very cool and warm and fuzzy and pretty friend. She couldn't really remember the last time they'd done this, like, just laying back and putting on a movie and _relaaaaaaaaaaxing._ "This rules," she finally muttered, after an hour or so of trying to get the words out. "Like, a lot."

Nicki snickered very, very cutely. "Yeah, it's pretty cool."

Cool wasn't even half of it. It was like, the thing, the thing with her, uh, ears - no. wait. It was really cool. Like okay, not the best thing she'd ever done, because she'd done some really good best things ever, like, saving the world, and stuff. Or just the city. Whoa that had been cool. But this was way up there, absotutely.. . . ok what was this better than. stay cool judy. better than coffee probably. better than laying in bed all day thinking about no wait definitely not thinking about that right now. better than -

Her pupils shrank with sudden horror. "Nicki," she slurred, "I think this might be better than _carrots."_

Nicki burst out laughing and holy heck she swore that there were bells ringing in her voice? or like other voices in there? no wait that's dumb she just had a normal fox voice. wow she was pretty. "Oh my god Judy you're _so_ cool," Nicki wheezed. She barked out another laugh and stretched out on the bed, laying down so that she had a better view of the screen (and, coincidentally, so that her head was closer to Judy's).

Judy frowned. "Don't make fun of me! I'm inbebreibated."

"I would _never!"_ Nicki gasped. "Judy, if I say you're cool, you're _cool._ End of story. I need another hit."

Judy, unable to unpack the meaning of _cool_ in her current state, decided to let it drop. _"Another?_ Nicki you're gonna _die._ You're already _so_ high."

The fox rolled her eyes. "Not really. I've built up a pretty decent tolerance over my thirty-whatever years. _You,_ on the other hand, are _gone."_

"Mmm right _here,"_ she mumbled defiantly. She managed to keep her head above the covers long enough to watch Nicki extricate (whoa thats a cool word) herself from the bed, saunter over to the table, and take another long, slow hit, exhaling smoke into the air where it lingered among the dust particles in the sun light -

oh god very pretty.

Judy had been pretty good about keeping those kinds of thoughts to herself lately. That had been necessary, although unpleasant; the ZPD had a _strict_ rule against dating amongst officers, and they'd made the mutual decision to _keep_ things platonic a long time ago. Suddenly, a little tendril of logic reached out to some kind of conclusion, or something. It was all _very_ cool. So cool that she started talking before realizing what her sentence was. "You know," she said - and all of a sudden it was just like, _so easy,_ it all fit together, of _course!_ "If, uh, we aren't like, working together anymore, there's no reason we couldn't... you know. Be. Together?"

Nicki stopped mid-puff. "Oh... yeah?"

"Or, I mean, at least um, to talk about it," Judy said, suddenly stumbling over her words even more than before because like oh god what did she just say. That was way too forward and pres- presump- whatever Nicki probably had a girlfriend already! Or a boyfriend or something! There was no reason that she would've just waited around, they'd said that they wouldn't because back then they'd thought they would be working together _forever_ and there wasn't any reason to stay lonely because of all of their ~simmering tension~ so no duh she's already sitting back on the bed next to Judy oh wait that looks like a smile. "If... you want to?" Judy finished.

"Would I like to go on a date with my very pretty, very cool bunny friend?" Nicki smirked.

She didn't have to finish the bit for Judy to get it.

A warm, goofy, gooey smile spread over her face. "Neat." She cuddled up against her russet friend's side and laid her head on her shoulder. The movie kept playing, but neither of them were really paying attention to it.

"Neat."

* * *

Judy wished she was still feeling something.

It was four, or five, or something. That fact still felt a little slippery, but it was getting darker outside, and the sky was going orange-ways, so it had to be around then. That meant it had been... a number of hours since Nicki had showed up. A number greater than four, but less than, uh...

Okay, maybe Judy was still feeling something. But not a _good_ something. That had faded a scant two, three hours after her first hit, leaving behind a sort of weird, out-of-body-ness that was confusing more than it was pleasant. Which was fine! Because she was with Nicki, and Nicki was great, and sitting around with Nicki was great, with or without weed. They were more than capable of keeping their spirits up without chemical aid.

...Well, they used to be.

The conversation was still good, the jokes funny, the Closeness comforting - everything was as it _used_ to be. She could almost imagine that they were still in the squad car, taking advantage of a pause in the day's work to talk about what they'd seen the night before, or how Judy's parents were doing, or -

Work.

Judy had never been particularly fond of the "elephant in the room" idiom, but it was apt, here. Her exit from the force - and Nicki's, three months before - hung over the room, choking out more and more cheer with every passing minute. There was no getting away from it. Not for long, at least. And even if talking about it would've helped, neither of them were in a hurry to do so; better to just let the conversation languish and fade away as the room drifted from cozy to claustrophobic; easier to let their thoughts roil away inside than to air them out.

Which is why it was four or five (or something) and instead of watching a movie, she was just... laying there. Staring at the ceiling. Just like yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that.

Something was different today, though. Maybe it was Nicki being there; maybe it was lingering aftereffects of her first high. Maybe her body had just had enough of silently staring at the ceiling. The suffocating _flatness_ that had defined her days lately was starting to give way to something less palatable, less sustainable - she'd felt, before, that maybe she could spend the rest of her life there, in that room, just _waiting_ and sleeping and staring. But now there was an almost absurd, panicked edge to the entire thing. Some faint, distant voice screaming that oh my god this was all fucked this was all FUCKED, someone had to do something, _anything,_ even though there was nothing _to_ do, nothing that could take her back to her first day on patrol with Nicki, her first day on the job, leaving home, graduating from the academy, getting _accepted_ to the academy -

What was she supposed to do?

What was she supposed to _do?_

"What do I do, Nicki?"

The fox next to her shifted, but didn't respond. Hesitantly, Judy continued, "I mean, what do I _do?_ I was supposed to have this all f-figured out, I - all I ever wanted to do was be a _cop._ And now..." Her ears wilted. "The thought of going back there makes me _sick."_

Nicki raised her head off of her pillow and looked right into Judy's eyes. Her voice was uncharacteristically solemn. "That place was _killing_ you, Judy. You had to leave. It was the right choice - "

"I _know,_ I just..." She shuddered. "I wish it _wasn't._ I wish there was a different choice. I wish I didn't feel like the last twenty years of my life were a _lie."_

"It wasn't a _lie._ You're idealistic, and that - that's important." Nicki rubbed at her arm and looked away. "That's... I mean, that's what saved _me,_ you know? You inspired me to be a better _me."_

"And look where that got us," she spit. "You're back at square one, and I'm back at square _zero."_

"You _meant_ well."

"That doesn't _mean_ anything!" Judy was still mostly full of bile and self-loathing, but from somewhere, a few rare drops of anger bubbled to the surface. "Who cares if I _meant_ well? Who cares how, how _pure_ my intentions were? Dad always said, good thoughts don't make for good harvests. _Doing_ stuff matters, and I couldn't _do_ anything, I couldn't change _anything - "_

"That's not on _you!"_ Sympathetic exasperation crept into Nicki's voice. "Judy, no one was expecting you to fix _everything!_ The deck was stacked against you from the _start,_ and you still did more than anyone else on that force." She sighed. "Maybe they're too corrupt, or - maybe the whole thing is just beyond saving. Maybe it was _never_ something we could save. But you aren't a failure because you couldn't fix it all by yourself."

"Well, I'm not a _success."_

"No." Nicki shifted closer. A paw on Judy's shoulder, she said, "You're just _you_. Not Judy Hopps, hero cop. Not Judy Hopps, first rabbit officer at the ZPD. Just - "

"Judy Hopps, dropout _loser."_

"Judy Hopps, _normal, fallible person."_ Nicki sighed. "It's okay to go off track. It's okay to be imperfect. It's okay to feel _lost._ Believe me, been there, done that. That's just part of... _being."_

"You're such a cliche," Judy muttered.

"Well, I'm _right._ And you know that, even if you can't accept it, yet."

Judy grumbled wordlessly. Even if she didn't really feel any better, even if she still thought Nicki was just saying what she wanted to hear, knowing that she was putting in the effort helped. A little bit. "Whatever."

"You'll see," the fox purred. "You'll come out on top. Might take a while, but it'll happen." And, after a brief pause, a bit of the old humor started to shine back out of her voice. "Well, _I_ always land on my feet, at least. If you stick by _me,_ I'm sure some of that luck'll rub off onto you."

Judy tried to smirk. "I thought I was supposed to be the one with the lucky feet?"

"Har, har."

The rabbit rubbed at her eyes. Everything still felt like it was a few inches farther forward than it actually was. Briefly, she wondered if she'd be more or less receptive to Nicki's attempts at reassuring her if she was fully sober. "So - alright, so what do _you_ have planned? How's Slick Nicky landing on her feet this time?"

"Well..." Nicky leaned back against the wall, eyes latching onto some bit of nothing on the ceiling. "I've always got my old bag of tricks to keep me going, if need be. It's not glamorous, but there's always another popsicle."

Judy's face fell. "You really _are_ back at square one, then."

"I dunno. I'm not really eager to go back to that life. Besides," Nicki said, suddenly inspecting her claws, "I _miiiiiiiight've_ managed to grift my way into a sizable 'retirement' bonus in exchange for not running to the press as soon as I'd left the station." A sharp, familiar smile - "'ZPD Fires First Fox Officer For Coming Out As Trans' isn't exactly _great_ press."

Judy shook her head. Nicki never ceased to amaze. _"Sly."_

"I can be _very_ intimidating when I need to, Carrots." With a contented sigh and a smug grin, the fox settled back into her makeshift nest of blankets and pillows. "I've got enough cash to keep me housed and medicated for a little while, at least. Long enough for me to figure out what comes next."

"So... _that's_ your plan? Get stoned and wait for something better to present itself?"

"Why not?" She stretched lazily. "I _tried_ to go on the straight and narrow, and you know what? Straight doesn't really _work_ for me." Judy failed miserably at choking back an ugly laugh, but Nicki continued unabated. "Seriously! Look, _Officer Wilde_ isn't going to happen. Maybe that's for the best. Maybe it was never meant to be. Maybe I'm just not meant for public service, or - or maybe I just need to find something that's more productive than writing traffic tickets and answering noise complaints. I dunno. I _want_ to change things for the better, I want to, uh, be the best me I can be and all that, but for now..."

Nicky sighed. "I gave two years and a half years of my life just to send more people to prison," she muttered. Judy winced at the sudden turn for the maudlin. "You know? I thought it was going to be this big chance to _change_ things, to make things better, and - I don't know, maybe I'm being cynical, but - whatever. I'm not in a big rush to figure out what's next. I'd rather just play it by ear and see what life's got in store for me. Maybe I go to school, or just get a _job_ somewhere, or ask Big for work, or travel, or, or, or..."

She trailed off into silence as Judy watched nervously. The last thing Nicky said lodged itself at the forefront of Judy's mind. A little black hole of heavy dread. "You'll... If you leave, you'll say goodbye, right?"

The fox glanced up at her, surprised. "What? Of course. I'm not going anywhere without you, Carrots." And there's that grin, again. "Who else am I gonna smoke with?"

And just like that - a little quirk of the eyebrows, a little flash of her teeth - and Judy's mind was at rest. The dread melted away, and a warmth settled into her stomach - not the warmth of the high, not of the sheets and blankets, but of something quieter, and softer. Things weren't just _fixed_ now, it just wasn't that easy - all of the anxiety and self-loathing and anger and sadness and depression that had been following her around for the last few months was still there, perched on her shoulder, whispering in her ear whenever her mind was idle. But maybe...

Maybe this would be okay.

Maybe they'd be okay.

She drew little circles in the sheets with her finger. Warmth bubbled up through her voice as she said, "Well... you wanna smoke some more?"

Nicki beamed. "I thought you'd never ask."

 

**Author's Note:**

> i am nothing if not predictable.
> 
> proooooooolly gonna write at least a LITTLE bit more about this premise. "nick and judy become disillusioned cops and quit the force to get stoned and be depressed together" definitely has more stories in it. i'm going to leave this one as a one-shot though; the rest will be added as a series whenever i feel like it. love u, stay strong n gay, acab etc


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